Thursday, March 7, 2013

POL POT, NICOLAE CEAUSESCU, AND MOHAMMED MORSI WALK INTO A BAR, Part 1


 
Bartender says, “What’ll it be, gentlemen?”

 

“Iced Mint Mocha, please”. “Cherry Coke”. “DEATH TO AMERICA!”

 

 “I don’t know how to make that”.

 

“(sigh)…...English Breakfast tea, please”.

 

And they all sat down to discuss politics, life, and Facebook.

 

Not that Egyptians need more to riot than the corner bakery running out of croissants but Morsi’s proposal for a new constitution has again caused mass demonstrations. There are real stirrings in the Arab world for modernization and democracy. However Islam is deeply conflicted about modernization at best and openly hostile at worst. (See “MyGrandpa…”) What does Morsi want? Will he engage the world and lift his people out of poverty or is he a radical who will settle for nothing less than a medieval Koranic utopia? The stories of two men who transformed their countries are instructive.

 

Pol Pot seized Cambodia in 1975. In “Year Zero”, a bloody civil war ended and a bloodier peace began. “Brother Number One” was radical even by Marxist standards. His egalitarian vision purged the nation of class and wealth. The outside world knew nothing because media and foreigners had been expelled. The movie “The Killing Fields” recounted the discovery that the bizarre rumors of torture, mass murder, and cannibalism were true. When the Khmer Rouge finally fled to the jungle, between 1 and 3 million bodies littered ditches, fields, and mass graves.

 

The irony of communism is its glorification of peasantry and its simultaneous worship of elites. But Pot, never having graduated college, executed anyone who reeked of education. Many were murdered for simply looking smart because they wore glasses. Pot closed banks, schools, and churches. Literally all institutions were shuttered and ransacked. Public servants were arrested and executed. Private property was banned. Those caught hiding personal possessions were tortured. Pot’s Eden was a socialist agrarian society without industry, business or even doctors. All cities were evacuated so their inhabitants could work the fields in proletariat harmony. Long lines of evacuees passed bloated corpses on the road. Hundreds of thousands died from starvation, dysentery, and heat stroke.

 

Deemed bourgeois, the family unit itself was banned. Not that many were in a romantic mood but even sexual intercourse was outlawed. Children under six were seized, raised and indoctrinated by Khmer “grandmothers”. The KR utilized gangs of grade-schoolers to enforce their code. Having been thoroughly indoctrinated, the 6 to 12 year olds, armed with AK-47’s and appetites for sadism, murdered indiscriminately. Survivors remarked that they seemed to enjoy making adults cower and beg for their lives.

 

Pot’s motivations were thoroughly Marxist but unlike most Marxists who worship the future, Pot longed to recreate the glory days of the Khmer Empire of the Middle Ages. Like the James Cameron/Avatar liberals, (See also Kevin Costner/Dances with Wolves liberals) he believed that if man went back to his primitive roots, he would be happy. 

 

The nightmare ended in 1979 with the invasion of the Vietnamese, of all people, who must have thought, “Man, communism is awesome and all but these guys are crazy.”

 

 

Despising the oppressive totalitarianism of Hitler, the Romanian people voted in the oppressive totalitarianism of communism in 1946. It worked out well. Nicolae Ceausescu’s rise to the top in 1965 was uneventful. For a while, he was quite popular as he stoked nationalistic pride by vowing to fight Soviet hegemony. Yet, while rejecting the country of Stalin, he was enamored with Stalin-ISM.

 

Ceausescu used the Securitate, the secret police, to spy on citizens, deny free speech, and censor the press. He began a 37-mile long “Death Canal” which resulted in the deaths of hundreds of thousands of forced laborers. Treated worse than animals, they died from hunger, beatings, TB, and dysentery. He used the project to rid the country of minorities including those scourges of the earth, the Hungarians. In a nationalism and racial/cultural superiority reminiscent of Nazi Germany and North Korea, he outlawed talking in foreign languages, bulldozed villages, and redistributed 80% of Hungarian owned land.

 

All this was standard fare for aspiring dictators but Ceausescu was “The Visionary Architect of the Nation’s Future”. He was a man of deep faith: In himself and the future. Birth rate is often seen as an indicator of hope for the future. Ceausescu banned contraception and abortion. All women in the factories were subjected to monthly gynecological examinations by the “menstrual police”. In a famous speech, he deemed the fetus as “property of the entire society”. A proliferation of dangerous back alley abortions damaged many women and unborn children. Orphanages sprung up everywhere to deal with the population boom in a society where living standards plummeted.

 

Impressed with Mao Tse Tung’s forced modernization, Ceausescu emptied the countryside of inhabitants and, in contrast to Pol Pot, forced the population to live in the cities. Food production plunged and eventually, people were existing on 7 oz. of food per day. Life support machines in hospitals flickered on and off due to constant power disruptions.

 

Ceausescu and his wife fostered a cult of personality. Embracing the future and the coming socialist utopia, the first family prized enlightenment and education. His wife Elena, not having finished grade school, attached her name to scientific papers, gave herself a PhD in chemistry and named herself the Director of the Institute for Chemistry.

 

Living in unimaginable luxury, everything fell apart for the futurists when a crowd began to heckle the dictator during a speech of party rhetoric and propaganda in 1989. The couple refused to cooperate with the trial as it was clearly beneath them. The overgrown weeds above their bullet-riddled bodies is not.

 

 

During their discussion about the past and the future, Morsi had been rather quiet, scribbling furiously on his napkin. Pot and Nicolae asked what he thought about their ideas. Morsi stated, “Come on guys, your plans didn’t exactly work out well”.

 

Nicolae replied, “Meh. Mistakes were made”.

 

And thus was born Egypt’s current draft constitution, on a napkin in a bar during a discussion with two of history’s strong men. True story.

 

The napkin, its meaning and it’s recycled paper content, only in the next Omnipotentblog…

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